Tears for Fears
by Synette
Summary: rated R for beer, cruid langue, and dark romance. Keiko gets very ill and botan finds love during hard times. little kids be warned this can be depressing!
1. Bad days and even worse news

I DON"T OWN YU YU HAKUSHO!!!! NOR DO I WANT TO!!! To many responsibilities!  
  
This is about: Keiko getting a terminal illness and Botan finding love during hard times.  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# @# ^ Keiko's P.O.V./ Thoughts^  
  
I could not for the life of me believe what the doctor had said. How could I have neuroblastoma? I was always healthy but I guess it is just one of those things you just can't help. I know that it will be hard to tell every one that I have an illness like this, but what can a girl do? Nothing that's what! I can't do any thing about it and I didn't even need this to add to my list of worries. What will they say? What will they do? Why did I have to get this? So many questions, and yet so little answers.  
  
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@ #@ ^Botan's P.O.V./ Thoughts^  
  
Where has Keiko been? We where supposed to go shopping over an hour ago! What has gotten into her? She is normally at our meeting place before I even get there, and she is NEVER late! If something happened to her Yuusuke will go ballistic to say the least! I hope she gets here soon or I'll have to call Yuusuke and he wont be a happy camper. :Wow, I'm never using that fraise again!!!: I guess that I will have to call Yuusuke now.  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# @# ^3rd Person P.O.V.^  
  
Everyone was waiting at Yuusuke's house for Keiko. She called and told them that she was all right and that she just needed sometime to think by herself. That and to have every one over at Yuusuke's house because she had something to say. She called just before Botan told Yuusuke that Keiko was not at their meeting place to go shopping. When Keiko came in everyone fell silent waiting for her to say what she needed to.  
  
"I'm sorry I made you worry about me but I was at the doctor's office getting a check-up and that's what I want to talk to you about." Keiko said as she stood in front of every one.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Kurama  
  
"Are you alright?" asked Yukina  
  
"No, I'm not alright that's what I want to tell every one. I have something called neuroblastoma and I-"was all she could say before Kuwabara asked her,  
  
"What is that and what's it do?"  
  
"It's a cancerous tumor that will most likely kill me. It has already spread too far to even try to stop it." Was the only thing she said before she ran out of the door crying to go vent her anger, her sadness ,and most of all her fears that came with the deadly cancer.  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# @# ^Botan's P.O.V.^  
  
After Keiko told us all that she was going to die we were all shocked. We didn't know what to say so most we all just acted. Yuusuke ran out the door after her. Kurama just sighed and asked if anyone needed a ride home. Hiei was the worst though; he just smirked and jumped out the window muttering things about the good things that came with this. I just summoned my oar and left Ningenkai to go find a demon bar.  
  
And that is the way I ended up here in this dark and musty bar full of demons that would just love a chance to get me or any other female for that matter. As I look around to see if there is anyone/anything I know. I see Chuu from the Dark Tournament lying on a table passed out : haha stupid getting drunk and passing out what a joke:, Jin picking a fight with a few demons and finally, I see Touya sitting by himself in a corner. I go over to him to see if he wants any company.  
  
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@ #@ ^Touya's P.O.V.^  
  
Why did I let myself be dragged to this poor excuse for a bar by Jin anyways? I just wanted to be alone and train so I don't get humiliated again! Why can't he see that? This is his entire fault.  
  
"Hi can I sit here?" I hear a soft happy voice ask me. I look up to see that it is just that fairy onna who hangs around whit Urameshi all the time.  
  
"Yes, after all I was just about to leave." Came my reply witch was just as cold as my ice sword.  
  
"No I meant sit here with you if that's alright," was what she quickly said before I could get up and leave.  
  
"Oh...uh I don't care. I don't own this bar." Was how I responded to her comment. Stupid stupid me why did I just say that? It made me sound.... weird.  
  
#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# @#  
  
Well this is my second story and please review. Yes flames are welcomed, after all everyone has different ideas or thoughts. What do you think should happen between Botan and Touya? What will be come of Keiko? Review and I might just continue it.  
-Synette 


	2. Did she just call him Tou Tou?

I DON OWN YYH!!!!!! Wow that gets old. This is for you Harpygirl*91!!!!!!!!!!!! Any ways to the story @#@#@#@#@#@##@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@ ^Botan's POV^  
  
When I woke up I felt two things. One, a pounding headache. Two something warm and yet kind of cold pressed up against me. I couldn't remember anything that happened last night. Then I remembered what Keiko had said. It all came back to me then. What Hiei had said, the bar, meeting up with Touya, and then the kisses we shared. Oh so that what the warm/ cold thing pressed against me is. Oh sh*t I slept with Touya! Oh sh*t, oh sh*t, oh sh*t! I'm in deep trouble if the gang find out about this. Maybe if I can slip away there wont be a big deal about this. I then felt something stir behind me.  
  
@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# ^3rd person POV^  
  
When Touya woke up, he and Botan just stared at each other for a while then got up and ran to the connecting bathroom. Botan threw up last night's alcohol in the sink while Touya threw up in the toilet. "Oh man there is something good coming out of waking up this morning!" exclaimed Touya before he threw up again.  
"Oh and what might that be?" asked an irritated Botan from the sink.  
"Reishyo is going to have to do so much pluming later today!" Touya nearly yelled. There was a knock at the door and a female voice asked  
"Touya are you in there? Who are you talking to? Reishyo is going to get mad!"  
"Oh no! It's Ruka! Botan will you please do something for me?" asked Touya with his head only rising slightly from the toilet.  
"That depends what is it?" asked Botan who was now done throwing up.  
"Well.............." @#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# @#@#@##@#@#@#@#@#I was gonna stop it here but I guess not@#@#@#@#@#@ @#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@# ^back in the hall^  
  
Bakken, Jin, Gama, and Ruka had all gathered outside of Touya's room to see what was going on in there. Then they heard the door starting to open. It was Botan and she didn't see them yet because her back was to them and she was kissing Touya." I'll see you at my place later right Tou Tou?" asked Botan making up a pet name for the ice master when she stopped kissing him.  
"Yes, of course my love bunny wanny." Said Touya in a cooing voice. Then he noticed everyone else for the 'first time'. "What are you guys doing here!?!?" everyone was shocked. Touya having a loving and letting her call him Tou Tou? Now that was a shocker if they ever saw one. @#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@#  
  
Wow, another chapter. I have no idea what to do with the story now. Any ideas are welcomed and encouraged. Thank you.  
-Synette 


	3. The return of Tou Tou!

I don't own YYH, BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!  
  
I'm sure you know what happened last time in the story as Botan and "Tou Tou" was found by Touya's teammates. Is Ruka apart of the team? Never mind. To the story! Dun, dun, dun!  
  
$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@ ^The hall^  
  
"Did that whore just call you Tou Tou, Touya?" asked Ruka in a very snobby tone. Touya glared at Ruka and Botan looked about ready to b*tch slap her *ss. : he he he that would be so funny ^ . ^:  
"Don't you dare insult someone of much higher honor then you, Ruka" Touya said icily. Ruka looked shocked at what he said, Jin looked like he was holding back laughter, Bakken looked a little confused, and Gama just smirked.  
"Look, I'd love to stay, but I really must be going. Touya come by later?" Botan asked. Touya looked at her and nodded his head while saying,  
"I'll do whatever I can to help you since you helped me."  
"Thanks, I'll see you later. Jin, you may come too if you want. Gama, same with you. Err... Bakken. B*tch." Botan said to each of them then turned to leave.  
"Touya, what's going on? What did you mean by 'I'll do what ever I can to help'?" asked Gama.  
"Her friend Keiko is ill and I told her I'd help in what ever way I could." Replied Touya without thinking of what Ruka would say to that.  
"Oh so she sold her body to you so you would help her stupid little friend?" asked Ruka.  
"Hey! Don't you be insulting Yuusuke's girl friend now ya' hear?" snapped Jin, his respect for Yuusuke clearly showing. Ruka looked at all of her team members and saw that they were all glaring at her. Well everyone but Bakken. She then turned and ran down the hall looking for sympathy in Reishyo.  
"I'll come if you wan t me to, Touya" said Gama while still glaring at Ruka's retreating form.  
"Aie, me too." Said Jin looking at his friend.  
"If you want to then come. I'm sure we will need all the help we can get. Thanks for not asking any questions about Botan and I." Touya replied as he went back into his room to get ready for the day ahead of them all. @$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$ I think I'll end it here.  
  
Wow I just don't feel like adding any thing else. I guess I was trying to hint at a relation ship between Ruka and Bakken. Yes I have a lot of free time. Anyways, I'm having relationship trouble right now and I don't feel like writing a story about it at the moment so just be patent and don't flame me for not updating on this story a lot. Just feel free to flame me about the story itself, ok? Review now that you've read please.  
  
-Synette-Da-Killa 


	4. cruel fates

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Blah, Blah, blah.  
  
This chapter is about Keiko and how she is coping with her dieses. It is set four months from when I last left the story. I hope that this will be the longest chapter yet.  
  
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@ !@! ^Keiko's POV^  
  
It had been three months since the doctors first told me about my illness. It had started taking it toll on me about last week. Every since Botan came back from being missing for a night she has been getting sick in the mornings. Last week we found out that she was pregnant. Everyone has been getting moody and no one is truly happy anymore. Hell, even Hiei has been worried about both Botan and I.  
It is really sweet if you look at it in the right light, too. Hiei, the heartless demon who hates humans with a passion, is getting worried about two female humans! Well Botan used to be a human, or at lest half human anyways. When ever I go to the Doctors Yuusuke demands that he comes with me just incase I fall and can't get back up or unless I get mugged. I think that he believes that I would get mugged more then I would fall and never get up again. I wish that was true. I wish that I had never gotten this damned sickness!  
Kumara has been doing nothing but researching my illness to try to help with anything that he can. I wish that I could do something to repay them, anything. Hiei for bothering to care about Botan and I, Yuusuke for loving me, Kumara for doing research for me, and Kuwabara for making me laugh when I get even a slight frown on my face.  
The girls have been a big help as well. Yukina has been trying every day to heal me with her powers, that only partly works because it keeps me alive for at lest the rest of the day. Botan has brought me flowers from foreign countries that I've told her I wanted to visit someday. That was of course before I had gotten this damned cruse and before she had gotten pregnant. Genkai has sat with me for hours on end; just sitting they're helping me fight against being lonely.  
Botan has promised me everyday that she will name her baby after me even if it turns out to be a little boy. When ever she says that I can't help but to laugh. But it is starting to hurt to do that now. My lungs are aging quickly and can't put up with it as well anymore if at all. My lungs aren't the only things that are ageing quickly, my heart, my spleen, every thing is. It just proves that I will die soon. Too soon to be able to do anything with my life. I will die a virgin because even if I wanted too, I would not be able to have sex. My body is 'too old' as the doctors say.  
How sad is that? I can't even give the one I love what I've always wanted to give him. Instead I will take it to my grave with me. How selfish of me. Wish that there was something that anyone could do to not die. I would give anything just to give Yuusuke that one little membrane called my virginity. Damn it all for my cruel fate and damn it all for making everyone close to me suffer. Does Kami hate me THAT much to make everyone who even remotely cares about me suffer for as long as they live? If so, that rat basrted should burn in limbo forever. Stupid fates. Stupid cruel evil vile fates that hate me so. Damn it now I'm ranting about how I hate almost every thing now. It seems that everything that I once hated with a passion, like Hiei hated me, is as beautiful as a newborn baby. Another thing that I will never have. My life is truly sad as to be condemned to a fate as dying young like Yuusuke has so many times before, but unlike my love, I wont come back. Ever.  
  
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ok I lied a bout it being the longest chapter, but I think that it was ok. I guess. Please review now that you've read. Thanks!  
  
-Synette 


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